School holidays. It's so nice to just stop the routine of rush, rush, rush in the morning - of preparing the school lunch box, of trying to resolve the eternal question of what to put in the school lunch box, of hurtling around tornado style from fridge to bathroom to bedroom to stove, answering the questions flying at you while preparing breakfast, 'Muuuuuum, where are my socks?, 'Muuuuum, why haven't I got any clean undies?' - and all the while barking out your own set of questions - 'Have you brushed your teeth? Where's your lunch box? Have you seen the time?! Are you still in the shower? Why haven't I got your lunch box yet?' And then finally, as you're flying out the door yelling 'Hurry up we're going to be late again', there are the final two questions; 'How come you didn't clean your teeth? and 'Where's your lunch box?' Aaaah parenthood.
Someone once said of parenting that 90% of our time will be spent saying the same thing over and over, and over and over. I regularly thank God as I tear my hair out that I read that piece of wisdom while I was still pregnant, and then remembered it. It saved me a lot of frustration and a lot of 'What am I doing wrong!' I still do a lot of heavy breathing, but I don't expect things to change overnight or run smoothly all the time (well ok, sometimes I do ... just put your dirty clothes in the laundry basket would you!!).
So what's that got to do with feeling better? Or the child within?
The point I'm trying to make is, that just as a parent does with a child, sometimes we need to give ourselves some of that motherly leeway. Be patient. Be gentle. Don't expect too much of yourself too soon. Sometimes it takes 90% of our time and effort before the payoff, before we get it right. But if we're trying and if we're giving it our best shot then we ought to be proud! Pat yourself on the back. Give yourself credit for what you have accomplished. And when you're having a bad moment or a bad day, stop a minute and reflect on what you've done well. Recognize it, appreciate it and feel good about it!
And just as you would with children, when they do remember without being told to brush their teeth, or when they do manage to get ready miracle of miracles in time for school ... acknowledge it. It might seem minor to the parent, no big deal and even expected, but to the child, getting ready for school on time is a major achievement. It requires major recognition! But don't expect that child to be ready on time for ever more. And don't expect you to get it right every time for ever more either. Our accomplishments, our wins, no matter how minor, require pats on the back and numerous repetitions before they become habitual and part of our everyday routine.
Don't wait for others to acknowledge your efforts. Do it yourself.
And have a bit of a laugh while you're at it. Stop and see the absurdity.
Personally I don't remember to do that all the time (coz just like you I'm far from perfect). But sometimes if I'm lucky I'll catch myself as I stare hysterically at my child and feel the tension making violin strings out of my neck muscles, and I'll force myself to look at the bigger picture. Right. Breathe. So she hasn't cleaned her teeth and we're going to be ten minutes late. Breathe. Will the world stop revolving? Breathe. Will she be banned from school for the rest of the term? Breathe. Will I be branded world's worst Mum? No, no and no. So make a joke about it. Make a joke about her bad breath knocking the teacher over in front of the whole class when she walks in late. And how she'll have plenty of elbow room all day. And how she'll be excused from choir practice. And how she won't have to queue for the swings coz with one breath she'll be able to flatten the competition. Be silly. Be really silly. And lighten up your day.I promise you'll feel better ... and your child will love you for it - your actual child or that other, less recognized one within. Good luck and let me know how it goes. I'd like to hear.
Here's a link for fun - Do the Quiz - How is your Inner Child?
www.blogthings.com/howisyourinnerchildquiz/
And two more links on the Inner Child
http://www.crystalinks.com/innerchild.html
www.ezinearticles.com/?Your-Inner-Child&id=6859128
I would like to see another post ... that would make me feel better!
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